Making friends in young adulthood can feel surprisingly difficult. After the structure of school or university fades, many people find themselves wondering how to build meaningful connections without the built-in social opportunities they once had. Busy schedules, career pressures, and changing priorities can all make friendship feel harder to come by. The good news is that forming friendships in young adulthood is possible—with intention, patience, and a willingness to put yourself out there.

Why Friendship Changes After School

During childhood and adolescence, friendships often form naturally through shared environments like classrooms, sports teams, or clubs. In young adulthood, those environments may disappear or become less consistent. People move cities, change jobs, enter relationships, or focus on personal goals, which can make social circles feel smaller and more fragmented.

It’s also common to feel pressure to “have it all figured out,” which can make reaching out feel awkward or vulnerable. Understanding that these challenges are normal is an important first step. Many young adults are quietly looking for connection, even if they don’t openly express it.

Start with Shared Interests and Environments

One of the most effective ways to make friends is through shared activities. Friendships grow more easily when there is something bringing you together on a regular basis. This could be a hobby group, a fitness class, a volunteer organization, or a professional networking event. Repeated exposure helps familiarity grow, which is a key ingredient in friendship.

If your current routine doesn’t offer many opportunities for connection, consider intentionally adding some. Joining a book club, taking a class, or attending local events can feel uncomfortable at first, but these settings make it easier to start conversations because you already have something in common.

Practice Taking Small Social Risks

Making friends requires vulnerability, and that can be intimidating. Taking small social risks—like starting a conversation, suggesting coffee, or following up with someone you enjoyed talking to—can feel awkward, but these moments often open the door to connection.

Instead of waiting for others to make the first move, practice being proactive. Simple statements such as “I’ve enjoyed talking with you—would you like to hang out sometime?” can be surprisingly effective. Rejection may happen occasionally, but it’s rarely personal and is part of the process.

Focus on Being Present and Curious

Strong friendships are built on mutual interest and emotional presence. When meeting new people, try to be genuinely curious about their experiences, opinions, and values. Active listening—paying attention, asking follow-up questions, and showing empathy—helps others feel seen and valued.

At the same time, allow yourself to be authentic. You don’t need to perform or impress. Sharing your thoughts, interests, and even your uncertainties can help create deeper, more meaningful connections over time.

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Maintain and Nurture New Connections

Making a friend doesn’t happen in a single interaction—it develops through consistency. Following up, making plans, and checking in are essential to turning acquaintances into friends. Even brief messages or occasional meetups help build momentum and trust.

It’s also important to be patient. Not every connection will turn into a close friendship, and that’s okay. Focus on nurturing a few promising relationships rather than trying to build a large social circle all at once.

Be Kind to Yourself Along the Way

Loneliness in young adulthood is more common than many people realize. If making friends feels slow or discouraging, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Social skills and connections develop over time, often through trial and error.

Approach the process with self-compassion. Celebrate small wins, such as having a good conversation or attending a social event, even if it doesn’t immediately lead to friendship.

Conclusion

Making friends in young adulthood requires intention, courage, and patience. By seeking shared experiences, taking small social risks, staying curious, and nurturing connections, meaningful friendships can grow. While the process may feel challenging at times, the effort is worth it—strong friendships provide support, joy, and a sense of belonging that enrich life well beyond young adulthood.

To learn more about therapy for young adults, contact me today.