5 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Unhealthy relationships can be difficult to recognize, especially for young adults who may still be learning what healthy emotional boundaries and communication look like. At this stage in life, many are experiencing serious romantic relationships for the first time and may mistake controlling or toxic behaviors for signs of love or passion. However, there are clear signs that a relationship may be unhealthy. Recognizing these early on is crucial for emotional well-being and personal growth.

Constant criticism or belittling 

A partner who constantly criticizes, mocks, or puts down the other person—whether in private or public—is showing a serious red flag. In a healthy relationship, both individuals build each other up and offer support. But in an unhealthy one, criticism is often used to exert control or erode the other person's self-esteem. This can make the victim feel like they’re never good enough, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression over time.

Controlling behavior 

Another major sign of an unhealthy relationship is when one person tries to control the other’s actions, choices, or relationships. This can look like telling their partner who they can talk to, how to dress, or what they’re allowed to do with their free time. It may start subtly—like guilt-tripping someone into staying home instead of going out with friends—but it often escalates. Control disguised as "care" or "protection" is still control, and it undermines independence and trust.

Lack of Communication or Emotional Manipulation

In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel safe to express their feelings and concerns. But in an unhealthy one, communication can become one-sided or manipulative. One partner may shut down, give the silent treatment, or use guilt and emotional outbursts to get their way. This creates a dynamic where honest communication is punished or ignored, leaving one person constantly walking on eggshells to avoid conflict.

Jealousy and Possessiveness

While occasional jealousy is normal, extreme or persistent jealousy can be toxic. If a partner constantly accuses the other of flirting or cheating without cause, demands constant updates, or invades their privacy by checking phones or social media, it signals a lack of trust. This kind of possessiveness is not love—it’s a need for control and often comes from insecurity. Over time, it can suffocate the relationship and create emotional damage.

Disrespect of Boundaries

Everyone has personal boundaries, whether physical, emotional, or digital, and a healthy partner respects them. In unhealthy relationships, these boundaries are often ignored or pushed repeatedly. For example, one partner might pressure the other into doing things they’re not comfortable with, or dismiss their need for space or alone time. Boundary violations can also include unwanted touching, pressuring for sex, or using someone’s past trauma against them.

Conclusion 

Ultimately, recognizing these five signs—constant criticism, controlling behavior, poor communication, excessive jealousy, and boundary violations—is the first step toward protecting one's mental and emotional health. No relationship is perfect, but patterns of disrespect and control should never be normalized. Young adults should be encouraged to trust their instincts, seek support, and know that they deserve relationships rooted in respect, trust, and mutual care.

To learn more about therapy for young adults, contact me today!